Monthly Archives: May 2011

I’m going against my better judgment to go into this story. There have been a lot of names from people – especially my wife – in the spirit of my “condition”. Names like “the uniballer”, “monoballmatic”, “halfaman”, and so on. It’s been like a trump card. Whenever she throws this out in a fight, we both crack up laughing and move on. It’s charming, annoying, and embarrassing all at the same time. But if I … Read More »

A week before I was supposed to make the epic leap from virgin to cool, mature, know-all guy, I realized that I had no idea what that entailed. I mean, I got the big picture concept; but the mechanics of it – the nuts and bolts, if you will – were completely lost to me. In a world where I could only watch PG-13 movies where people never actually do it (they just give each … Read More »

High and inside was always my pitch. Since I was never a big kid or an exceptionally strong kid, I would never hit a home run when my pitch came, not even a double. In fact, my standard hit was so consistent that I could point to the spot right over the shortstop’s head like a single-hitting Babe Ruth. It’s not as glamorous, but it got me on the varsity team as a lead off … Read More »

One of the things I learned during the hippie years was the art of drumming. The real art of drumming comes from making drums by tapping your hand on every day items like table tops, glasses full to various levels of liquids, and even vacuum cleaner tube attachments. Drumming on a drum is musical. Drumming on things that aren’t drums is creative art, and like most creative art, it’s also very annoying to those around … Read More »